Magical, Mystical Horse Kisses
Sarah Charuk from Desert Awakenings has created such a wonderful healing space at her ranch and at the time I was pretty much a hot mess from having experienced a "thing" which kind of started me on the road to dealing with this stuff for once and for all. However, I do know that it will always be something to be aware of but in a useful way not in a "Crap" it's taking over my life way. As my friend Sarah says, "do the work Carol, just do the work" so I was thinking to myself, "OMG do I have to do this again?" Apparently so ! I mean really when was the last time you talked with someone who has been crying off and on for about three to four weeks now, not continually but with some regularity and often while I'm writing or in a Yoga class (if you read my last post then you already know that crying is the highest form of Yoga). In the fall I will be starting Yoga teacher training. By all accounts, what I'm going through is part of the process. Since Yoga is a mind, body, spirit practice and discipline then it would make sense to me that dealing and healing one's own "crap" is of the utmost importance. For example, you have probably noticed that I have been very concerned over how much I'm crying. Well, that's just old programming telling me that I shouldn't be crying. But if your truly willing and wanting to heal then doing the work is what it takes. At the last New Moon Drum Circle at Horses Help, Amy talked about the importance of awareness and simplicity. Sarah read one of my favorite poems by Oriah Mountain Dreamer called "The Invitation." One line in the poem that always hits me hard is "I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own without moving to hide it, fade it , or fix it. Then further in the poem she ask "I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back." Somewhere I said, "yes, I will stand in the center of the fire with you and not shrink back". So now I am in the process of, as my sister says, "getting my poop in a group." If I want to teach Yoga, work with other people in a healing environment then I need to be able to sit with my own pain without struggle, fear or judgment to just acknowledge it's presence and know that most importantly, I can sit with my own pain and not react to it just acknowledge it. Just do the simple stuff like breath and movement. Because if I can't sit with my own pain, how can I sit with someone else's. So that brings me to the present out at Desert Awakenings with Sarah. The first time I went to Sarah's we did work with the horses. This time I brought them some carrots. Stormy came over and stuck his nose through the fence and Sarah told me ask him for a kiss, so I did, (I mean really, what woman wouldn't ?) then I kissed him right on the side of the nose. Then T.E.W.A. came over and started licking Sarah and I swear he almost licked her out of her shoes. So Sarah moved to go do something and T.E.W.A started licking me (I mean really who wouldn't) so it really was all about Magical, Mystical Horse Kisses today. It can't all be about work!